St Bartleby's School For Young Gentlemen
by ArtysSexKitten
Summary: This is my first Arty story so, be kind ppl! We've ALL seen Artemis doing what he does best! Being a brilliant criminal master mind : But, have you ever wondered what his SCHOOL life is like? R&R! Chapter 8 up.
1. Default Chapter

**Title: St Bartleby's School For Young Gentlemen**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl... although I wish I did...**

**Summery: This is my first Arty story so, be kind ppl! We've ALL seen Artemis doing what he does best! Being a brilliant criminal master mind :) But, have you ever wondered what his SCHOOL life is like? R&R!**

**Author's Note: Well, hello! This is my very first Artemis Fowl fic! I've been wanting to write one for some time, but never had the guts to do so :) I had a hard time coming up with a plot... so just bare with me people! I have NO IDEA if this has already been done, because I've never read any Arty fics... Oh yes and this is a betaed version! So if everything else is nice and right and this opening isn't... well that's because I have copied this from my first draft (which is when I had no beta) so shut up if it's all wrong.**

**&&&&&& - These are for when I jump ahead or change to someone else's POV (Sorry, but it's the only thing they let me use)**

Chapter 1: I have no time for girls!

"Come on darling, you're going to be late! What are you doing up there?" called Angeline, standing at the bottom of the grand staircase in the entrance to Fowl Manor.

She was waiting for her son to come down; he had been up in his room all morning, and she knew he wasn't packing since that had already been done the day before, so what on earth could the boy be doing?

"Artemis! If you don't hurry up, you'll be late for you're train!" she yelled again, growing quite impatient. (AN: I have no idea how far Wicklow is from Dublin, so I'm just guessing that Arty goes on a train to get to his school)

At the sound of a door slamming, Mrs Fowl raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow as Artemis Fowl Jr came running down the stairs. This was a rare sight for anyone who knew the family, seeing as though young Artemis never showed any kind of emotion, and hardly **ever** ran.

He stopped short a few feet in front of his mother and straightened his school blazer.

Angeline smiled, reaching forward and fixing her son's tie, which was draped around the boy's neck, un-done.

"Sweety, what have you been doing? And why aren't you dressed properly?" she asked, watching as the normally immaculate 13-year-old tucked in his shirt.

"Sorry, Mother, I was in a hurry, had a few last minute things to do," Artemis said, running a slender hand through his dark hair.

Angeline narrowed her eyes.

Last minute things, huh? Artemis' "last minute things" always involved some small piece of technology the boy used for... well she had no idea what for, all she knew was that for whatever purpose, it wasn't legal.

Being a mother, she wanted to know what her genius son was up too, but Artemis didn't look as though he would be sharing anything anytime soon, and they where running late, so she let it pass.

"Well, are you all packed?"

The boy nodded.

"All of your clothes?" Mrs Fowl said, glancing over her shoulder at a pile of black leather suit cases that where sitting at the front doors.

Another nod.

"Clean underwear?"

Artemis blushed and nodded again.

"Yes, Mother," he grumbled, hoping no one had heard that. Why mothers always asked that, he would never know.

"Wonderful."

Angeline then turned around and called for some of the butlers to take her sons things to the car.

"Come along, darling," she said happily.

Artemis picked up a black rectangular bag that held his laptop and followed his mother outside.

The car that was taking them to the train station was a sleek stretch limousine, impeccably black, and while Artemis didn't mind taking such a luxurious vehicle, it **did** bring allot of unwanted attention to them, and the young crime lord liked to distance himself from the outside world as much as humanly possible.

Climbing inside the long car, Artemis sat himself down on the far left hand side and buckled his seat belt.

Angeline sat down beside her son and watched as the boy took out his laptop and began typing away to some unknown program.

She sighed.

It troubled her to see her son cast all his interest in computers and crime and not on normal things, like girls and music.

Artemis had never had a girlfriend, or even a crush for that matter, and while Mrs Fowl knew he **was** only 13, that didn't excuse the fact that he had never come to either of them, her or his father, to ask for help for his love life.

Angeline had expressed her worries to her husband, but Artemis Sr had just smiled and said that their son was simply a late bloomer.

Mrs Fowl doubted that; their son had done everything early, and in fact, he didn't even need to go to school. Artemis had finished all 12 year's before he was 9; she just wanted him to be around kids his own age.

Juliet was an attractive girl, and she had all the boys in town coming to their door step, seeing if they could take her out.

But Artemis didn't seem to notice her, well, not her looks anyway.

Angeline continued to observe her son as the 13-year-olds pale fingers flew over the keys.

Taking a deep breath, the woman tapped her son on his shoulder.

Artemis looked up from the screen to stare at his mother, his deep blue eyes holding no emotion whatsoever.

"Yes, Mother?" he asked politely.

Angeline smiled, hoping that this question wasn't going to get her son in one of his moods.

"Well, darling, I was just wondering if there was a girl that you have a crush on?"

Artemis raised an eyebrow slightly. Girl? Crush? What was she talking about?

"What do you mean, Mother?"

Mrs Fowl brushed a few strands of hair out of her face.

"I mean, do you fancy anyone?"

The boy tilted his head to one side, thinking.

After a moment of silence he closed his laptop and folded his hands in his lap.

"No," he stated simply.

Angeline frowned.

No, that was silly, there must be someone!

"Are you sure? Or are you just too embarrassed to tell me?" she said, already knowing the answer.

The heir to the Fowl fortune just blinked.

"I'm quite sure, Mother, I have no time for girls, and having a girlfriend will just distract me from my work."

This wasn't the answer she was looking for, although Angeline couldn't be sure her son was telling the truth; the boy had the uncanny ability to hide his emotions.

Artemis looked at his mother for a moment, waiting to see if she had anything else to say. When she just stared at him, he turned to look out of the window.


	2. On The Train

**Title: St Bartleby's School For Young Gentlemen**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl... although I wish I did...**

**Summery: This is my first Arty story so, be kind ppl! We've ALL seen Artemis doing what he does best! Being a brilliant criminal master mind :) But, have you ever wondered what his SCHOOL life is like? RR!**

**Author's Note: Hi! Well, thank you to everyone who reviewed! Now, yes a few of you pointed out that my grammar and spelling isn't very good :) yeah I know... Lay off please. (grumble)**

**Well, I see that my last chapter got you all wondering who our darling blue eyed Arty will go out with? Well.. to tell the truth, I didn't mean for that to happen... (Grins sheepishly) But seeing as though you all want Artemis to get with someone, HE WILL but who that lucky person is? I'm not gonna tell! HA HA! It might be Holly, it might be Juliet? Or... someone else... **

**No wait... I've changed my mind, no one likes OC's... (Own Character's) So I'll do a vote! Who do YOU (Point's to reader's) Want Artemis to ah... lust after? Or fall for, either is fine :) If you want it TOO be slash tell me and I will do it, personally, I prefer slash but I have to give you reader's what you want!**

**SHOUT-OUTS**

**cocoaducks: Lol, no this is not going to be a Holly and Arty :) sorry and I'd giggle too much while writing :) thanks for reviewing! She might be in it, but not as Arty's lover, well... I wrote that a while ago... so I dun know? I might change my mind...**

**cybergurl: Yeah, sorry about my grammer... it and spelling aren't me strong point's sad to say! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Marfbag: Thank you! Glad you like it!**

**sasha caveateo: Well thank you! I'm glad you liked it!**

**ameliana: Yeah my spelling does stink :) BUT it would be even worse if I didn't have the spell check, but a few word's is fine, thanks for telling me :) I hope you enjoy this fic**

**TrunkZy: Yeah I thought it would've been done :) but no matter! Thank You for telling me how long it would take for Artemis to get to school and lets just say he takes the train, more fun then a bus or something... and no there isn't going to be any SLASH... as much as I love the stuff, but you know, I might put in some romance or something... but I dun know, thanks for reviewing!**

**Artemis: Yeah :) But I used to take the train to my school, well... and the bus, all depended on my mood, but yes... let's pretend that he couldn't get a ride! I am so glad you like my story! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Sacai fighter: (blushes) You're too sweet :D! (hugs) That was a very nice thing to say! You've made me so happy! (Hands over a Butler plushie) There you go!**

**Chapter 2**: On the train

The ride to the train station was quiet yet pleasant.

Angeline spent the entire time watching her son, while Artemis passed the time by gazing out the window.

Mrs Fowl smiled. Judging from the look on the boys face, Artemis was deep in thought.

That in itself wasn't uncommon, for the youngest Fowl was almost **always** deep in thought, but what about was an entirely different matter altogether.

Artemis' mind worked in such complex patterns that unless you reached his level of intelligence, it would be wise to just let him think.

But being his mother, Angeline knew her son would tone down his vocabulary, so she could understand what he was talking about.

So she decided to ask him. After all, it might be important, he might even be thinking over what they had talked about when they left Fowl Manor.

"Artemis, darling, what are you thinking about?"

The child genius turned his deep-blue orbs to his mother.

"Nothing, Mother" he said, his voice dull.

Angeline was about to argue when the car came to a sudden halt.

The dark haired woman growled softly; she would have to do something about that chauffeur; he was far too reckless.

The said chauffeur stepped out of the car and opened the door on Angeline's side.

Artemis climbed out the other side and watched as the man stared at his mother's breast, a lustful gleam in his eyes.

The young genius walked over to help his mother out of the car,

"Go and get my bags" he snapped, pointing to the boot as the chauffeur went to assist Mrs Fowl as she climbed out of the limo.

The man, who Artemis guessed would be in his late thirties, early forties, glared at him.

Was he going to let some prissy little kid boss **him** around!

Artemis' eyes grew dark, his young face pulling an expression that would make even the toughest soldier run crying to their mummy.

"I said, _go and get my bags_"

The chauffeur scurried off to the back of the car. Yes, yes he was.

Mrs Fowl smiled softly; her son was so much like his father. Even if that tended to be a bad thing, she couldn't but like the similarity.

Artemis ran a hand through his dark hair as he followed his mother to platform 13  
(AN: I was going write Platform 9 3/4... lol force of habit...) where the train was waiting.

Truth be told, he wasn't looking forward to yet another school year, and it wasn't only because he wasn't allowed to do crime anymore, although that was one of the main reasons. It was because he hated those hormonally challenged dim wits that went to his school.

It was impossible to hold an intelligent conversation with any of them, all they cared about where cars and girls.

And Artemis didn't.

He never went near the other boys, and they never went near him.

And that was just the way he liked it.

Artemis kissed his teary-eyed mother goodbye and bordered the royal blue train. Every single compartment was full with laughing boys. Artemis went right to the back of the train and sat down in the only empty compartment he could find.

And hopefully, it would _stay_ empty.

No such luck.

Four boys suddenly threw open the compartment door and sat themselves down, totally ignoring the genius as he settled his fury-filled eyes on them.

Artemis had a reputation at his school. The Ice Prince he was called, among other things, and the students made sure to distance themselves from the Fowl boy. To be frank, Artemis scared them, what with his "come near me and I'll have you poisoned" attitude. But these boys seemed to be new students, and hadn't yet met the wrath of Artemis Fowl the Second and his comfort zone.

"Do you mind", Artemis drawled.

The boys looked at him. For first years they where very tall, but then again, Artemis himself wasn't very big. And these guys towered over him, but that didn't stop the genius from making sure these dim wits knew who he was.

"Ah... no" said a blond boy.

Artemis frowned.

"You're new here so I'm going to fill you in on some things. One: My name is Artemis Fowl the Second, learn that name. Two: I don't like sharing a compartment, and Three: It would be best if you left and found somewhere else to sit" He said all this very politely.

The boys looked at each other, then started laughing.

"Listen, little guy, we can sit wherever we want, and if you keep talking to us, we'll just have to fuck you up", the boy sitting next to Artemis said, his voice dripping with a tone of an oversized ego.

The genius' face darkened considerably.

"If you don't get out of this compartment, I will personally see to it that your dicks are ripped off and nailed to your foreheads", he answered in a voice as cold as ice.

The boys stopped laughing and stared at Artemis in mild shock.

"I have done it before and I am not afraid to do it again", the genius said, pointing to the door with a slender finger.

Realizing that he was serious, the boys jumped up and ran from the room.

Artemis smiled to himself and then opened his lap top, knowing he would have a nice _quiet_ trip to school.

**There we go, short yes... but there is only so much you write about someone on a train... so! The big question is: should Arty be set up with anyone? I'll take a vote!**


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